Dear Mom --

It's been hard making the transition from talking to you at least once every single day to not at all. Sometimes I get this extremely empty feeling inside when I think about the night I got the call that you had stopped breathing and the paramedics were on their way to your house. I think about not taking a minute to give you a hug and put your foot on the stretcher as you were moved from your house to the ambulance. Then I remember a feeling of peace that came over me as I knew and could accept that your time had come.

Well, today is Mother's Day and you are obviously not where you can take a call or enjoy a visit and talk with me about how you are feeling, the weather, current events, the neighbors, the family, and anything else under the sun.

If you were here today, I would be excited to tell you about so many things that have been going on this week. I would tell you about Willie's concussion! He hit the floor hard on the back of his head a week ago in a basketball game, and he has since missed three basketball games and the region tennis tournament as a result. (Yes, the big tall blond grandson made the school tennis team!) I would also tell you about Willie's scout board of review this week and that he has earned his eagle scout rank. Our conversation would include me telling you about a phone call I got on Thursday to let me know Willie had been selected as student of the month for April and would be recognized in an assembly at school on Friday. I am so proud of him! I love my boy!

I would tell you about Annie and Haley! Annie and Ross are in the middle of selling and buying houses and Haley and James are hoping to get something going with a house this summer. Also, Haley is technically finished with her master's degree from USU and with just one more class will receive her diploma. What a girl! You will be relieved to know that James is not going to Iraq! I love my girls!

And, I would tell you that I went to the U of U commencement on Friday morning because Peter walked in the ceremony. You knew that he had finished his degree in December, but he's official now, B.S. in Health Promotion and Education. I am so proud of Peter! We would talk about the commencement speaker, Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays with Morrie. His speech was inspiring!

I would spend a lot of time telling you about my grandchildren! Where do I begin? Elliott is growing up and he is such a good boy! Yesterday Annie and Ross had an early birthday party for Wyatt (2 years old) and Elliott was so well behaved about Wyatt getting all the attention and gifts. Wyatt is finally talking! He gives me kisses that end in a smack! Then there's Molly! I shouldn't tell you that she tried to climb up those dangerous slate stairs in her house. Arggg! Molly will celebrate her birthday #1 this week. She is just as cute as a button!

I go out to you house two and three times a week to check in on Dad. Oh how he misses you! He told me that he keeps thinking you have just gone away for awhile and that you'll be coming home. He is taking really good care of the house. He is very neat and keeps things organized. He does his wash every other day and the sheets every other Thursday. Dad is even washing your pillow case each time and places your special pillows and your pixie doll and your mouse neatly on your side of the bed. He's kept all of your things in place. I think he's only put your make-up and bathroom stuff away. He visits your grave at least once a week and usually takes a flower bouquet. We {all of your children} have been making sure Dad gets a nice dinner and has ice for his Diet COKE every evening. By the way, your tulips are stunning. We have had a long, cool spring and the tulips have been in bloom longer than I can remember.

Well, I don't think I can write much more. The tears are dripping down my face and I can't see what I am typing. Mom, I miss you! Please know that I am trying to be a good daughter, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, and more. I hope to always live my life like you did -- thank you for being my mom!

I love you!