What to write about . . .

I haven't written much about anything but the mission and the missionary for awhile.  Not sure there's much else going on around here.  Karl and I have been "empty nesters" for 13 days now, and to be honest, it is very different.  We've been married for a long time (yes, it's a miracle that it's lasted this long).  Annie was born in 1978 and for the past 35+ years we have had a child/children living in our home with us.  We have given 110% to our kids and their upbringing -- no fancy vacations away from them, no "dates" without them, always there for them.  Needless to say they are turning out ok.  And, even though we have a full house for Sunday dinner every week and our home is always open to any and all, it's an adjustment to go from some to none.

I think one of our secrets to parenting success over the years has been pushing our kids through tough situations and helping them grow from disappointment. Mind you, we push(ed) with them; side by side and involved. 

For example, Annie thought she was a failure at AP Calculus and that I was an ogre for making her stick with it.  The teacher was not the most positive and instilled little confidence in her abilities.  For some reason, we worked through the tough homework assignments and hours of anxiety and stress and by the end of the school year, the teacher sheepishly admitted that Annie would like pass the AP test if she were to take it.  I didn't make her take the test; and by sticking it out in the class for the entire year she benefited in so many ways.

Haley excelled academically (and still does).  Her challenges were more emotionally charged.  She struggled with going to school and as the anxiety of a new week, a new term, a new year in school came around we took her emotions a step at a time.  We plowed through the ups and downs together with notes back and forth from teacher to mom and back.  We set goals and work hard to reach them, together.  She still gets emotional about school on Sunday nights, but she has made huge progress.

When Willie tried out for the 7th grade basketball team, he got cut.  He was devastated.  He recorded his feelings  in a blog post which includes his 7th grade problem-solving process:

So the bottom line is that when things appear tough for your kids, don't succumb to their level of emotion.  Rather, help them through the situation or circumstance that brings them down and gets in their way and help them to set goals to improve, to move forward, to do better and to be better.  It's worth the effort and both you and your kids will be the beneficiaries. 

I like the quote Willie included in his blog - "Disappointment, when it involves neither shame nor loss, is as good as success . . . "